


In Plain Sight

by apple_pi



Category: The Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, First Time, M/M, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-14
Updated: 2006-02-14
Packaged: 2018-07-28 11:56:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7639276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apple_pi/pseuds/apple_pi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>DM: Where’s your porn? I’ve looked everywhere for it.<br/>BB: Ha! Keep looking, wanker, you’ll never find it.<br/>DM: Oh, come on, Bill, be a mate. Share the love.<br/>BB: Keep your perverted hands off my stash, Monaghan. Not that you’ll ever find it.<br/>DM: I will find it.<br/>BB: You won’t.<br/>DM: Dammit, Billy, give me a hint.<br/>BB: Dominic, I do not want you to find my porn. Ergo, I will not give you a hint.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Plain Sight

DM: Where’s your porn? I’ve looked everywhere for it.  
BB: Ha! Keep looking, wanker, you’ll never find it.  
DM: Oh, come on, Bill, be a mate. Share the love.  
BB: Keep your perverted hands off my stash, Monaghan. Not that you’ll ever find it.  
DM: I will find it.  
BB: You won’t.  
DM: Dammit, Billy, give me a hint.  
BB: Dominic, I do not want you to find my porn. Ergo, I will not give you a hint.  
DM: Let’s play cold-warm-hot. I’ll tell you where I’m looking and you tell me if I’m cold or warm or hot.  
BB: You just want me to tell you you’re hot.  
DM: It would certainly be a perquisite.  
BB: Oho, look at you with the spell-checker.  
DM: It’s your computer. Of course it has a good spell-checker.  
BB: It’s my house, too. And my porn, and you can stop looking. Because you’re not going to find it, and I don’t want you to find it, and. Yeah, that’s it.  
DM: I’m looking in the spare room next. Just blink twice if I’m close.  
BB: You can’t see me. How will you know if I blink twice?  
DM: Oh, I’ll know.  
BB: The porn is not in the spare room.  
DM: I knew that.  
BB: How do you know I’m not lying?  
DM: Bills! You would never lie about something so vitally important.  
BB: As the state of your dick?  
DM: Exactly.  
BB: You might be surprised.  
DM: Are you ashamed of your porn, Billy? Do you have some secret fetish I don’t know about?  
BB: Yes, Dom, it’s grapefruit. I have a secret citrus fetish, and I’ve hidden my citrus porn stash very, very carefully.  
DM: I knew it! You fruit.  
BB: You are such an amusing little man.  
DM: Who are you calling little?  
BB: *cough*you*cough*  
DM: Piss off, Boyd. I am, in fact, the bigger man.  
BB: Yes indeed, Dom, you’re a legend in your own mind.  
DM: Oh for god’s sake. BILLY I’M HORNY AND I NEED SOME PORN AND I’M STUCK IN YOUR HOUSE AND YOU’RE NOT HERE TO TORTURE THE TRUTH OUT OF. Help me out.  
BB: If my gran and sister never found my porn, I don’t think I’ve anything to worry about from you.  
DM: Oh, good idea.  
BB: What’s a good idea?  
DM: I’ll ask your sister. I bet she’ll know.  
BB: Don’t you dare!  
DM: Put her on the computer.  
BB: Dominic Bernard Patrick Luke Leia Han Solo Monaghan, I will cut your balls off and donate them to the poor if you ever ask my sister about my porn.  
DM: She’s probably asleep anyway, eh? Wouldn’t want to be rude.  
BB: Or neutered.  
DM: That either, no. Fine. Hey, have cybersex with me.  
BB: No thank you.  
DM: Please? God, I’m horny, Bill.  
BB: I’d gathered as much. Still, not just now.  
DM: Fine, I’ll just find something on the Internet.  
BB: You go on and do that. 

...  
...

DM: Billy, why can't I get to any porn on your computer?   
BB: I blocked it.   
DM: You what?   
BB: I wish I could see your face right this minute.   
DM: You blocked the porn on your own computer?   
BB: Just before I left. Funny, eh?   
DM: You bastard!   
BB: Yeah, I know. But a funny bastard.   
DM: It says... fuck... you put on a childproof filter? Fuck!   
BB: You could always go out and buy some porn.   
DM: It's past midnight.   
BB: Oh, there are places that're open all night in Wellington.   
DM: I'm not wearing anything. And oh really? Know that from personal experience?   
BB: Are you sitting in my nice leather chair NAKED?   
DM: I might be.   
BB: You're buying me new furniture when I get back.   
DM: Well in that case, I might as well have a wank.   
BB: DON'T YOU DARE.   
DM: Hmm, what shall I think about?   
BB: Your approaching career as a soprano soloist?   
DM: I'd make a terrible castrato, Bill. Not a great singer, really.   
BB: You can always get a job as a eunuch in a harem.   
DM: Mmm, harem. That's good, thanks. I can work with that.   
BB: DOM.   
DM: Mmm. Goodness, this leather certainly does stick to one's thighs.   
BB: If you wank while you are (a) sitting at my computer (b) naked in my chair (c) talking to me, I'll...   
DM: All those bosoms, mmm.   
BB: I'll tell Orlando you wanked to his picture.   
DM: ...That's disgusting.   
BB: You know he'd believe me.   
DM: God, you're such a prick.   
BB: But I'm a prick with a well-hidden stash of porn and a dislike of your jizz on my computer chair.   
DM: Fuck you, Billy.   
BB: Now you're just talking nonsense, Dom.   
DM: ...Are you sure?   
BB: ...What?   
DM: Maybe I should wank to that instead.   
BB: I'm confused.   
DM: How very Pippinish of you.   
BB: Are you saying you want to wank while thinking about me?   
DM: It sounds even better when you say it.   
BB: I typed it. And, um.   
DM: What? I've always thought you were eligible wank material.   
BB: You have? ...Oh for Chrissakes, Dom, you're having me on.   
DM: No, I'm knocking one out, actually.   
BB: Oh, shut it.   
DM: Mmm. You're quite sexy, you know.   
BB: Yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean I want you knocking one out while you're thinking about me.   
DM: What would you say if I told you I already had?   
BB: Just now??   
DM: No, in general.   
BB: ...Have you?   
DM: I don't know. Maybe.   
BB: This is getting kind of weird suddenly.   
DM: I don't know why suddenly. I've always been weird.   
BB: Yeah, but not weird and telling me you, you're...   
DM: Attracted to you.   
BB: I'm not even, I don't... I've no idea what to say.   
DM: Hold on.

...

"Dom?"

"Yep."

"Ehm. Hi."

"So, uh, should I... apologise?"

"I... no? No. I mean, you just surprised me, that's all. I didn't think you felt like, ehm."

"Well, I mean, I. I do, but I probably shouldn't have told you."

"Why not?"

"Because we've been mates for five months, and I don't want to, uh, make you uncomfortable. Or anything. ... Bill?"

"Yeah?"

"Just making sure you're still there."

"Yeah, m'here."

"...What're you thinking?"

"I wish you'd told me before I left for the hols."

"You do?"

"Yeah. We could've. I dunno. Gone out. Maybe."

"...Really?"

"Why not?"

"God, I'd like that."

"Me, too. ...I'll be back in a week."

"Seems like a long time, suddenly."

"Heh, yeah."

"Bill?"

"Hm?"

"I'm still horny."

"Christ, Dom."

"Stop laughing!"

"I think you should at least take me out to dinner before I let you have phone sex with me."

"God, no cybersex, no phone sex – what a sodding pain in the arse."

"Exactly the opposite, actually."

"Punning is a spanking offence, you know."

"Yes indeed. I should probably be turned over to the penile authorities. Punished. Locked away from the world, sent to a punnery."

"Billy?"

"Yes?"

"Your rubbishy jokes are making me horny."

"Good lord, it may be terminal."

"It may."

"Shall I be merciful?"

"What?"

"I'll tell you where my stash is."

"I'm feeling less inclined to hang up on you."

"But more inclined to spank me, I hope."

"Bill..."

"Go into the bedroom."

"You sweet-talker, you. ...Okay."

"On the bedside table."

"There's nothing there. Just the book I'm reading, and your alarm clock, and that photo album Vig gave us all for Christmas."

"Yep."

"...The photo album?"

"The third page from the last, with the pictures of you and me."

"Billy... I'm just, I... really?"

"I kept wanting to ask you out, but then I was, I mean, I am – I'm afraid, what if it doesn't work? We still have a long way to go on the shoot, Dom."

"Yeah, but. We should do it, anyway."

"I want to."

"If your puns made me horny, I think I can stand anything."

"True."

"What about me?"

"What do you mean, what about you? ...What're you doing right now?"

"Just lying on your bed, looking at the pictures. I mean, can you stand me?"

"I haven't killed you yet, have I?"

"No, no."

"So there you are."

"I'm going to have a wank, now, Bill."

"Are you?"

"Yep."

"I'll let you go, then."

"Stay."

"Dom. I'd love to, but."

"But what?"

"But it's the middle of the night, and I'm camping out on my sister's sofa, so I can't exactly help you out. They're all asleep, but I'm paranoid, y'know?"

"Are you huddled under the covers with the phone?"

"...Yeah."

"That's so cute. Stay on. You don't have to say anything."

"But I have to listen."

"You can hang up and run to the toilet when I'm done."

"Selfish bastard."

"Yeah. ...Stay?"

"Alright."

"Good. ...Mmm."

"What're you thinking about?"

"You. God, I wish I'd already kissed you."

"Me, too. You said you've done this before?"

"Got off, thinking about you? Yeah."

"Tell me what you think about."

"Just. Hnh. Y'know. ...Fantasy shite, I dunno."

"Tell me, Dom."

"It's embarrassing."

"You're the brave one. Tell me."

"I... Okay. In the makeup chair. Sitting down, you..."

"What? What am I doing?"

"On your knees in front on me. Sucking me... sucking me off."

"Ah, Jesus..."

"Yeah. I, oh..."

"S'it feel good? Lying in my bed?"

"God. Yes."

"Tell me."

"Fuck. So, uh. Bill... so good, such a pretty mouth."

"I wish I was there."

"Suck me, oh, fuck yes."

"I will. I am."

"Fucking, oh, oh."

"C'mon, tell me."

"So tight, fuck, oh Billy, suck me harder –"

"Yeah... Fuck. Fuck."

"– What? Ah. What?"

"You're killing me, Dom. I wanna... God. Keep going."

"Oh, fuck, yeah, suck me, suck me, Bill, Billy, oh –"

"Are you close?"

"Ah –"

"Let me hear you, come in my bed, fuck, Dom."

"Aaaannnhhhh –"

"Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Fuck. I gotta go, Dom, I gotta go do this, fuck. I'll call you tomorrow. Jesus."

 _click_.


End file.
